Nero's Fiddle
A View From The Handbasket

Friday, May 30, 2008
Font humor
Posted by neros_fiddle at 10:57 AM

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Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Gas, guns, God and a free oil change
Posted by neros_fiddle at 2:15 PM

High gas prices and a collapse in the credit sector have combined to make life miserable for car dealers, particularly those who made their living off of high-margin, low-MPG trucks and SUVs. Now that the gravy train has derailed, exploded and contaminated everything in a 50-mile radius, the uncertainty of the future has brought a tinge of wild-eyed insanity to the ad campaigns of some dealers (which were pretty lunatic even in good times).

Take these guys in California who have decided to turn selling cars into a jihad of sorts:

But did you know that 86% of Americans say they believe in God? Since we all know that 86 out of every 100 of us are Christians, who believe in God, we at Kieffe & Sons Ford wonder why we don't tell the other 14% to sit down and shut up. I guess I just offended 14% of the people who are listening to this message. Well, if that is the case then I say that's tough, this is America folks, it's called free speech. None of us at Kieffe & Sons Ford is afraid to speak out. Kieffe & Sons Ford on Sierra Highway in Mojave and Rosamond, if we don't see you today, by the grace of God, we'll be here tomorrow.

While Kieffe and Sons is busy depriving the infidels of their ability to move about and undermine the highways of America, another dealership in Missouri is taking a more direct approach to defending our way of life: offering a free handgun with every purchase.

Imagine what these two could do together. They could even go nationwide and cater to the "warrior for Jesus packing heat" demographic. You may want to take that Flying Spaghetti Monster emblem off your car until some of this blows over.

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Friday, May 16, 2008
When even Chris Matthews can't abide the stupidity
Posted by neros_fiddle at 9:20 AM
When the President not-so-subtly accused Obama of seeking "the false comfort of appeasement," displaying an unsurprising lack of awareness of what "appeasement" actually is, the conservative talking heads (in this case, shouting heads) fell right into line on cable news shows.

Chris Matthews decided to see how deep the argument of one of these third-string Rush wanna-bes actually went. Turned out it was the kiddie pool. Watch below, if you have a strong stomach for seeing annoying blowhards get thoroughly humiliated on national TV:

Of course, Matthews then proceeds to misdate the Cole attack as being during the Bush presidency. This is what passes for "expert opinion" in our media these days.

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Wednesday, May 07, 2008
The Divine Right of Combustion
Posted by neros_fiddle at 2:09 PM

If you already believe in the fairy tale that gas will always be $1.50 a gallon forever and ever, then this might seem like a reasonable response to shrinking supply and rising demand:

"Lord, come down in a mighty way and strengthen us so that we can bring down these high gas prices," Twyman said to a chorus of "amens".

"Prayer is the answer to every problem in life... We call on God to intervene in the lives of the selfish, greedy people who are keeping these prices high," Twyman said on the gas station forecourt in a neighborhood of Washington that, like many of its residents, has seen better days.

"Lord, the prices at this pump have gone up since last week. We know that you are able, that you have all the power in the world," he prayed, before former beauty queen Rashida Jolley led the group in a modified version of the spiritual, "We Shall Overcome".

"We'll have lower gas prices, we'll have lower gas prices..." they sang.

Too bad Jesus isn't around to turn water into premium unleaded. (Before long, though, we'll need divine intervention just to get the water.) Such sad days, so lacking in miracles...

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