A View From The Handbasket

Thursday, June 08, 2006
Senate very worried about harmless happy people
Posted by neros_fiddle at 9:08 AM
Because of Blogger acting up, I'm proud to be bringing you yesterday's news today. All in all, that's probably a good thing, since there's not much one can say about the apparent death of Zarqawi aside from "good riddance" and "wait and see." (I suspect the filled cabinet posts might be the more important story from Baghdad this morning.)

In any case, surrounded by mayhem in Iraq, continuing misery in Louisiana, spiraling deficits, a looming energy crisis, health care woes, and countless other real issues, the Senate earlier this week turned its attention to the grave and gathering threat to America posed by these people:









(More stomach-churning visages of evil here.)

Yes, it was Bash The Homos Week. If you think I'm being excessively sarcastic about the threat the Senate perceives from your gay friends and family, let's listen to Louisiana Senator David Vitter:

"I don't believe there's any issue that's more important than this one," said Sen. David Vitter, a Louisiana Republican. "I think this debate is very healthy, and it's winning a lot of hearts and minds. I think we're going to show real progress."


Wow -- no issue more important. For Vitter, preventing scenes of joy like those above is more important than addressing actual, real devastation in his home state. Katrina victims? Forget that, we've got the gay-hating vote to pander to!

Meanwhile, not to be outdone in the "most important" sweepstakes, Oklahoma Senator James Inhofe hauled a big blown-up photo of his enormous family up to the Senate podium and boasted:

As you see here, and I think this is maybe the most important prop we’ll have during the entire debate, my wife and I have been married 47 years. We have 20 kids and grandkids. I’m really proud to say that in the recorded history of our family, we’ve never had a divorce or any kind of homosexual relationship.


This raises a lot of questions (Does he really keep a "recorded history" of his family's sexual activity? Is this a written record, or are there video tapes? And what went through Dick Cheney's mind when he heard Inhofe's preening?), but beyond that, I'm eager to witness the "I'm more righteous than you" one-upmanship that seems imminent in the House.

If we're very lucky, we might see a Representative on the floor of the House renewing his vows with his high school sweetheart while kicking a gay man in the ribs. I'm sure that's what all of us have in mind when we think of our government addressing the problems of the country.

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